Ptarmigan

a grouse with completely feathered feet

2/27/2003

ATTENTION! ALL POINT BULLETIN!



The members of the board of Ptarmigan, upon assembly, have decided to announce the Toothpaste Poetry Project. Attention! To determine the matrices between dental hygenie products, and the purchase/creation thereof, and the development of a poetics that might be considered in any given day an "experimental" one. Products, after all, are placed in our hands every day (or...are they?) even if you write poeticsly. It grieves me to think that x-poets' last purchase of tube socks, last fast food experience, last embarrassing moment with a person that owns a truck, has NOT be detailed in minerals. So we will start small. Hey, I like x-poets, Quail came up with that one good job Quail! We will try this experiment. If you write x-poetry, please indicate which toothpaste you use, and/or toothpaste you would LIKE to use.

Here are samples!

+Burned snail shells, salt, and honey

+Ground up oyster and whelk shells

+Bicarbonate of soda

+Coal dust, finely minced

+One (1) page of new american writing, burned in the bathroom sink (dry), ground to a fine powder

Hippie toothpaste

Hippie toothpaste co-opted by large toothpaste manufacturer

{{{Now, the ensuing tooth-pastes are a bit more critical to our discussion; namely, does the consumption of them preclude, obviate, or trump the development of an experimental poetics? How about the Fresh Mouth Guilt(tm)? Known to occur, don't think it doesn't! In the Minnesota School of Poetics, e.g., they have been inoculated from this affliction from the generous help of the State, although with recent budget cuts who knows what the School will now be "entitled" to? }}}}

{{{The following toothpaste are also, well, I don't want to say tainted, by the fact that one often finds them in supermarkets and superdrugs. But this is supposed to be an objective test, so ignore this}}}

Aquafresh

Crest

Colgate

Gleem (not to be confused with Gleek, Wonder Twins monkey)

Miscellaneous

Cool Mint Listerine Tartar Control Gel

Mentadent Crystal Ice

Oral-B Rugrats Paste

Please comment below. End of project. Upon commenting, I wish that Hypergolem, say, would be able to provide snacks. Like a blood drive. But our funds are short.

Followup question: WHAT IS THE CAPITAL OF CULTURAL?

And yet, this is the most terrifying thing I've ever done...

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